AmericanThinker.com is my favorite political website. I was surprised and pleased to read there a completely apolitical article on Stress and Marital Intimacy.  Here is the link.

http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/12/stress_and_marital_happiness.html

Read the article if you like, it is good, but that is not what I wanted to write this post about.  The comments are interesting but there are two comments that you HAVE to read.  They will both make you cry but for different reasons.  I copy and paste them here now.

Posted by: FulghumInk
At the risk of sounding high-minded-and I certainly don’t mean to be, my precious wife and I had been together since the seventh grade. When she walked into our homeroom class, we made eye contact. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. We were with each other almost every day. I could easily write a book about her-about us. Obviously, having been together since the seventh grade, we have been through a lot.

We went through junior high school, and senior high. I went into the service after I graduated from high school and served in the SE Asian “conflict.” My precious wife to be went to college. We wrote almost every day. Sometimes I could call her, and talk to her. Through it all, our hearts grew stronger in our resolve to be together.

When I came home, my heart went into unbelievable orbit as we ran to each other at the airport. She came with my parents who loved her as her own daughter. She loved them as if they were her own parents.

My precious wife had graduated from college when I started after having served 4 years in the Air Force.

We were married after I had two years of college behind me and she was a school teacher. Being a school teacher was a passion with her from the time she was in elementary school according to her, and her mom and dad. She would line her younger brothers and sister up to “teach” them, God only knows what!!!

I graduated from college, went into marketing, and built my own company. Along the way we had two private little miracles who are now grown, happy, and very successful.

After 29 years of marriage to the love of my life, my precious wife found out that she had a rare form of leukemia. After an 18 month brutal fight under the wonderful care of Duke University Medical Center she won the race, and crossed the finish line. She is now with our Lord and Saviour who loves her even more than I do. “In His Loving Care” is what is written on her marker.

WE now have two beautiful granddaughters. When I went to see my first granddaughter after she was born, my son and iI just looked at each other without saying word. We held each other tight in each other’s arms. With eyes full, he said, Dad, she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I told him, “I know, son.” I hadn’t even seen her yet, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was a bittersweet moment for both of us.

Why all this? Well, I have some simple advice for couples of all ages. I hope you don’t mind. When you get up in the morning tell each other that you love him/her. Before you go to bed at night, tell each other that you love him/her. When you are sitting at the table to have dinner, take a look at each other, tell each other that you love him/her. Why? Because all that matters is love. True love. One true love.

One day one of you will not walk in the door. It doesn’t matter what your schedule is.

In some of the oddest moments, the empty chair across from you will be a testimony to the blessings in life that are really important.

Posted by: ferdinand
I have never shared this with anyone outside of a professional environment. I do not know why I am doing so now except this is such a weight, I cry out in silence most days. This article speaks the truth.

My son is six. He represents the product of the last time my wife and I were intimate.

We have been married 19 years. I can count, on my hands, the number of times we have been physically intimate. I am not a handsome man. My wife is no longer a comely bride. There is no physical or emotional bond left between us. I live in a prison of duty, where age and disuse have overcome youth and exuberance.

Without going into the details, this is a crushing, devastating, debilitating, depressing, and staggeringly destructive fact of my life. There is no passion. There is no touching. There is no emotion save private desperation. It reaches from inside my marriage and has starved every personal and social connection I ever had. The personal isolation is complete.

Help from faith-based corners exascerbated the problems. We have been left even further separated and impoverished by our experience with godly professionals. The money is the least of the harm. The additional guilt and shame have remained long after the invoice was paid.

We no longer attempt a cure. We do not speak of it. We do not address it. We have faded into a silent partnership of communal domestic life without any personal communication beyond that necessary to navigate through another day.

I fear and expect this is a life sentence.

“next to of course god america i
love you land of the pilgrims’ and so forth oh
say can you see by the dawn’s early my
country ’tis of centuries come and go
and are no more what of it we should worry
in every language even deafanddumb
thy sons acclaim your glorious name by gorry
by jingo by gee by gosh by gum
why talk of beauty what could be more beaut-
iful than these heroic happy dead
who rushed like lions to the roaring slaughter
they did not stop to think they died instead
then shall the voice of liberty be mute?”

He spoke. And drank rapidly a glass of water

e.e. cummings

I have been humbled this week. Humbled to learn, most remarkably, that God can use me. It is genuinely shocking, really. I certainly don’t want this post to become a “isn’t Seth great” post. If it smacks of that please forgive me from the outset. I really want it to be a “isn’t God great” post.

First, I had lunch with my cousin this week. We always TALK about getting together when we see each other, like we did last weekend. But this week we actually did it–we had a lunch. It was a warm time and a remarkably open time. (And a sad/profoundly happy time as he recounted the story of a dear friend who was very publicly caught in a major sin [that’s the sad part–not that he got caught but the way sin ensnares] but the TRULY remarkable ways that God is working through the situation in his friend’s life [that’s the happy part]).

Then he told me something that blew me away…he thanked me for a conversation we had, together, almost all of which I don’t remember, at the beach when he was on the cusp of starting college. My cousin is a very nice looking young man. And I told him that in today’s world (in fact even more so today, much less then) that there are women who would gladly have sex with him…and that he needed to care about the CHARACTER of the women he spent time with and that he dated. (That part I remember, albeit vaguely.) But he said that I said more, about how our lives are the aggregation of the choices we make…and that we needed to work hard to make the right choices, mostly about loving God and going hard after Christ in this life and embracing the Gospel (or something like that). And then he said — “I HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN THAT.” He implied that my words played a role in getting him through college with his character intact. I am still in shock.

Another story…some dear friends were at a conference last year (don’t remember what kind of conference — marriage or family or something else) and they were attending one of the sessions and the speaker told this story about when he was in high school he received counsel from someone about the Gospel and Jesus … whatever … and then he MENTIONED ME BY NAME as that one –having influenced him to follow after Christ and enter the Christian ministry. My friends mentioned his name to me…I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER HIS NAME. I don’t know what I said to him. WOW.

Now here’s what’s weird about those stories. Both of those “talks” happened A LONG TIME AGO. I have now been a Christian for about 24 years now. That counsel I gave was probably given 18 - 22 years ago. Remarkably, both of those talks are still bearing fruit, in there own way, today. But back then I had a LOT MORE ZEAL and a LOT LESS KNOWLEDGE. Back then, I spoke, in earnest love out of an ignorant heart but with a lot of zeal. And the Holy Spirit used that. And then, as I grew in knowledge, my love and earnestness waned. I “grew” to a point where I knew a lot but became a lot less useful.

(At this point I want to include a long comment about doctrine and knowledge not only being useful but necessary and important. But the occupational hazard of gaining knowledge and understanding is that with it can come pride [the waning of humility] and unbelief [the waning of faith]).

I have only recently begun to “recover” from this and see it. And my hopes and dreams are that, without compromising my theological integrity, that I can become winsome and loving and good and kind again and that I can use words that reflect that commitment. That any knowledge I have will be wisdom in His arsenal used for the glory of Christ and the growth of His kingdom. All with a profound joy that defeats spiritual pride and unbelief. I want to REALLY care about people. I want to smile a lot more. And hug children and make them laugh. And weep with those who weep. And enjoy the beauty of a sunset or a spring morning. And ALL of that as spiritual fruit that belies understanding. And then, out of that, to speak words to people.

There are hopeful signs. A few days ago I was speaking to my dear brother, very casually really, about “living with our wives in an understanding way…” (1 Peter 3:SOMEVERSE). Today, he said it helped him. Just a little while later, although he was still struggling with some difficult emotions, he began to think about her SO AS TO UNDERSTAND HER. And then shortly afterwards, they were working through their disagreements together. WOW.

I just have a few takeaways from this post. The first is this. Out of your Christian joy…SPEAK. It is truly shocking that God uses us. Far more than we know. But not if we don’t speak sometimes. Two, pray that God will increase your love for people. Really…that you would have a delight in people that is truly spirit wrought and sincere. And, here is the trick, then number one will come easily.

Soli Deo Gloria

Seth

After you read this pray for our troups. We forget that today-right-now there are American and British and other soldiers in harm’s way because they love their country.

The text of the speech is from the Reagan Foundation website.

HT to Campaign for Working Families EOD report.

Remarks at the U.S. Ranger Monument
Pointe du Hoc, France
June 6, 1984

One of two speeches commemorating the 40th Anniversary of the D-Day Invasion, this speech was delivered at the site of the U.S. Ranger Monument at Pointe du Hoc, France, where veterans of the Normandy Invasion, and others, had assembled for the ceremony. Later during the day, President Reagan spoke at Omaha Beach, France.
1,988 words.

We’re here to mark that day in history when the Allied armies joined in battle to reclaim this continent to liberty. For four long years, much of Europe had been under a terrible shadow. Free nations had fallen, Jews cried out in the camps, millions cried out for liberation. Europe was enslaved, and the world prayed for its rescue. Here in Normandy the rescue began. Here the Allies stood and fought against tyranny in a giant undertaking unparalleled in human history.

We stand on a lonely, windswept point on the northern shore of France. The air is soft, but 40 years ago at this moment, the air was dense with smoke and the cries of men, and the air was filled with the crack of rifle fire and the roar of cannon. At dawn, on the morning of the 6th of June, 1944, 225 Rangers jumped off the British landing craft and ran to the bottom of these cliffs. Their mission was one of the most difficult and daring of the invasion: to climb these sheer and desolate cliffs and take out the enemy guns. The Allies had been told that some of the mightiest of these guns were here and they would be trained on the beaches to stop the Allied advance.

The Rangers looked up and saw the enemy soldiers–the edge of the cliffs shooting down at them with machine guns and throwing grenades. And the American Rangers began to climb. They shot rope ladders over the face of these cliffs and began to pull themselves up. When one Ranger fell, another would take his place. When one rope was cut, a Ranger would grab another and begin his climb again. They climbed, shot back, and held their footing. Soon, one by one, the Rangers pulled themselves over the top, and in seizing the firm land at the top of these cliffs, they began to seize back the continent of Europe. Two hundred and twenty-five came here. After two days of fighting, only 90 could still bear arms.

(more…)

Out of town. Meeting mid-morning.  No comb or brush.  Mind wildly seeking a solution.

Russ Roberts of Cafe Hayek has posted a remarkably timely and insightful excerpt from Adam Smith’s Theory of Moral Sentiments, in light of the earthquake in China. I was tempted to re-post the excerpt in its entirety here. Not willing to be that tacky, here is the first part of the excerpt and the conclusion:

Let us suppose that the great empire of China, with all its myriads of inhabitants, was suddenly swallowed up by an earthquake, and let us consider how a man of humanity in Europe, who had no sort of connexion with that part of the world, would be affected upon receiving intelligence of this dreadful calamity. He would, I imagine, first of all, express very strongly his sorrow for the misfortune of that unhappy people, he would make many melancholy reflections upon the precariousness of human life, and the vanity of all the labours of man, which could thus be annihilated in a moment. He would too, perhaps, if he was a man of speculation, enter into many reasonings concerning the effects which this disaster might produce upon the commerce of Europe, and the trade and business of the world in general. And when all this fine philosophy was over, when all these humane sentiments had been once fairly expressed, he would pursue his business or his pleasure, take his repose or his diversion, with the same ease and tranquillity, as if no such accident had happened. The most frivolous disaster which could befal himself would occasion a more real disturbance…

It is not the love of our neighbour, it is not the love of mankind, which upon many occasions prompts us to the practice of those divine virtues. It is a stronger love, a more powerful affection, which generally takes place upon such occasions; the love of what is honourable and noble, of the grandeur, and dignity, and superiority of our own characters.

I am struck by two things about the excerpt: the astonishing beauty of Smith’s prose and the similarity of the term “a more powerful affection” to the famous sermon by the old Scottish preacher Thomas Chalmers, The Expulsive Power of a New Affection. I believe that the affection that Smith is referring can be properly called joy. And it is not so much a celebration of the “superiority of out own characters” as it is the happiness that we find in serving others, especially when we have the proper perspective on what we deserve before a holy God and what we have received, as Christians, at the Cross.

Steve

P.S Please read the entire excerpt at Cafe Hayek.  It is extraordinary.

So yesterday was the FatTriplets Barfday. I actually was sick with pinkeye and and a sore throat, which was a bummer. But no barfing.

I don’t have the time or energy to write a real blog (apparently my brothers don’t either), so I will link to the story I wrote last year on my birthday About How we Got our Names.

How we Got our Names.

Scott

There is a group blog over at Together For the Gospel and its has been wonderful reading how Ligon Duncan, Mark Dever, Al Mohler and C.J. Mahaney have been discussing and interacting with their unity in the gospel and the reformed faith, even though they come from very different church backgrounds (SBC, PCA and reformed charismatic).

C.J. Mahaney has posted a wonderful reflection on raising boys and sports and how to use it for the glory of God and not let it become an idol.

Here is an excerpt

I will do my best to provide some answers to your excellent questions about fathers and sons and sports. It is certainly an area I have given some thought and attention to, because of my love for sports and my son Chad�s participation in sports. My son is not only familiar with my love for sports, he is also aware of my idolatrous devotion to sports prior to my conversion. For me, participation in sports growing up was a means of self-exaltation. But I want my son to glorify God and not himself when he plays. So from a young age I have sought to protect him from emulating my past sinful example while building into his soul an appreciation for playing sports as a gift from God. I attempted to address this topic in chapter twelve of Humility: True Greatness.

Playing sports holds great potential for growth in godliness for our sons, but only if we as fathers lead our sons theologically and strategically. I fear that all too often our sons devote significant time to playing sports with little growth in godliness. Here is where the example and leadership of a father can make all the difference. It is our responsibility as fathers to teach and prepare our sons with biblical priorities prior to a game (or practice) and not to assume that we have fulfilled our fatherly responsibility simply by attending the game. And after the game, we should encourage and celebrate evidences of godliness and not primarily our sons� athletic ability or achievements. Our priorities for our sons� participation in sports must be theologically informed priorities rather than culturally celebrated priorities. Fathers who aren�t theologically informed are more impressed with athletic ability, statistics and final scores than they are biblical masculinity and godly character.

The whole post is outstanding, I encourage you to read it. Click here.

Scott

I have copied the entirety of John Piper’s Fresh Word’s from the day before he went into surgery for prostate cancer.
The original article is here.
My only response is WOW.

Don�t Waste Your Cancer

February 15, 2006

I write this on the eve of prostate surgery. I believe in God�s power to heal�by miracle and by medicine. I believe it is right and good to pray for both kinds of healing. Cancer is not wasted when it is healed by God. He gets the glory and that is why cancer exists. So not to pray for healing may waste your cancer. But healing is not God�s plan for everyone. And there are many other ways to waste your cancer. I am praying for myself and for you that we will not waste this pain.
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They say that Africa is the “dark continent”. Honestly, I don’ know why. Maybe its because life and death in Africa is hard. Maybe its the disease, abject poverty, violence. Maybe its the African soil darkened with the blood of martyrs. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll find out.

I admit that often my thoughts have tended toward viewing Africa as a really cool place. When I day dream of monkeys, lions, Maasai warriors in their traditional garb, the snows of Kilimanjaro, I have all the images the travel brochures want me to have. Almost like Africa is a continent-sized Disney World where you better not wander to the wrong place, except you don’t have to worry about pith-helmet-wearing security guards, but real bad guys like terrorists or poachers who would rather kill you for the sport or the politics of it. If the poachers don’t get you maybe the Black Mamba will. Or the malaria or tuberculosis or famine or AIDS or tribal conflict or tsunami or something else. I think really thats why they call it the dark continent. (more…)

O Source of all Good,

   What shall I render to thee for the gift of gifts,
   thine own dear Son, begotten, not created,
   my Redeemer, proxy, surety, substitute,
   his self-emptying incomprehensible,
   his infinity of love beyond the hearts grasp.
Herein is wonder of wonders:
   he came below to raise me above,
   was born like me that I might become like him.
Herein is love;
   when I cannot rise to him he draws near on wings of grace,
   to raise me to himself.
Herein is power;
   when Deity and hunanity were infinetly apart
   he united them in indissolubale unity,
   the uncreated and the created.
Herein is wisdom;
   when I was undone, with no will to return to him,
   and no intellect to devise recovery,
   he came, God-incarnate, to save me to the uttermost,
   as man to die my death,
   to shed satisfying blood on my behalf,
   to work out a perfect righteousness for me.
O God, take me in spirit to the watchful shephards,
   and enlarge my mind;
let me hear good tidings of great joy,
   and hearing, believe, rejoice, praise, adore,
   my conscience bathed in an ocean of repose,
   my eyes uplifted to a reconciled Father;
place me with ox, ass, camel, goat,
   to look with them upon my Redeemer’s face,
   and in him account myself delivered from sin;
let me with Simeon clasp the new-born child to my heart,
   embrace him with undying faith,
   exulting that he is mine and I am his.
In him thou hast given me so much that heaven can give no more.

from the Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions - pp 28-29

�In him��in this Son of God and Son of David, (Romans 15) verse 12 says��will the Gentiles hope.� So our first answer to the question, �Hope in what?� is hope in Jesus Christ. The emphasis falls on Christ as the ground of all our hope. Bank your hope on him. Not yourself, not your intelligence, not your health, not your money, not your job, not your reputation. None of these can sustain your hope. They can collapse in a moment. God means for our hope to be firm and unshakable and so he put underneath it his own Son. In him will the Gentiles hope. At every turn in your life say, �Jesus, you are my hope.� You are my hope for my salvation, you are my hope for my marriage, you are my hope for my children, you are my hope for my ministry, you are my hope that I will live and die well. �In him will the Gentiles hope.� -John Piper

Find the whole sermon here.

HT to the BHT

Lord of all Being,

There is one thing that deserves my greatest care,
     that calls forth my ardent desires,
That is, that I may answer the great end for which I am made -
    to glorify thee who hast given me being,
    and to do all the good I can for my fellow men;
Verily, life is not worth having
    if it be not improved for this noble purpose.
Yet, Lord, how little is this the thought of mankind!
Most men seem to live for themselves,
    without much or any regard for thy glory,
    or for the good of others;
They earnestly desire and eagerly pursue
    the riches, honours, pleasures of this life,
    as if they supposed that wealth, greatness, merriment,
    could make their immortal souls happy;
But, alas, what false delusive dreams are these!
And how miserable ere long will those be that sleep in them,
    for all our happiness consists in loving thee,
    and being holy as thou art holy.

O may I never fall into the tempers and vanities,
    the sensuality and folly of the present world!
It is a place of inexpressible sorrow, a vast empty nothingness;
Time is a moment, a vapour,
    and all its enjoyments are empty bubbles,
    fleeting blasts of wind,
    from which nothing satisfactory can be derived;
Give me grace always to keep in covenant with thee,
    and to reject as delusion a great name here or hereafter,
    together with all sinful pleasures or profits.
Help me to know continually
    that there can be no true happiness,
    no fulfilling of thy purpose for me,
    apart from a life lived in and for the Son of thy love.

From the Valley of Vision pp 22-23

My wife has written a wonderful reflection on Thanksgiving , needs and wants. Check it out.

Since I have a son with Down Syndrome, I was especially interested when I was pointed to a post by Julana at Life in the Slow Lane on when she found out she was pregnant with a Down Syndrome son. It’s beautifully written. Check it out.

(HT - Charlie @ AnotherThink)